Finally A ring, but not THE ring

I totally forgot but the highlight of graduation was the present I got from Billy. After a LONG night of loading up the Penske Billy and I settled upstairs on our mattress on the floor. The house was practically emptied. So it was 2 am and Billy confesses he has a present for me. Honestly I thought I was getting a fancy pillow because that was the only thing on my list that was under $200. To my surprise he pulled out a JEWELRY box. Now let me remind you, Billy has REFUSED to buy me jewelry for the past 4 years. I cried. He kept saying, "Its not an engagement ring" but it was a beautiful diamond eternity band. I absolutely love it. Apparently in South Carolina if the woman wears a ring and calls the man "husband" then they are common lawed married...I still want a wedding one day, so officially we are still dating and so happy.

Mrytle Beach

This was another great family vacation. There was absolutely no drama and it was overall very relaxing. My leg acted up quiet a bit because I didn't rest much. Billy and I took long walks on the beach, laid by the pool. I treated myself to a scrub treatment and massage....awh heaven for those 3 hours then the bill gave me anxiety but it was worth it. It was present to myself. Billy and I had a fabulous time. He is amazing!!

Shelby Reunion

Since my parents were in the South we decided to organize a nice Van Buren Family Reunion. The setting was perfect at a local golf country club. It was sooo good to see all my relatives again. It was really good for them to catch up with my mom and dad. I felt like I looked older but they all looked exactly the same. I now live only an hour away so hopefully I can make the drive down to Shelby a bit more often.

Graduation

Graduation was a very special day...the ceremony was not drawn out which we all appreciated. I had an early rehearsal then Billy and I took my dad to the Waffle House for breakfast...a Southern tradition that I felt my dad had to experience. We then went to the Gwinnett arena and Jerry placed the hood on me when I officially became a doctor. After the ceremony we went to a steak dinner at Stony Brook for a delicious dinner. It was quiet annoying when our waitress asked what we were celebrating and her response to our "medical school graduation" was , "Oh are you a Nurse?" I love nurses, but I'm a doctor. Yes, a young woman is capable of becoming a DOCTOR!!! Once we settled back at home, we started loading up the Penske. What a chore. The next morning we all piled into the vehicles and headed to Spartanburg.

Busy May Schedule

I'm 3 weeks post op and doing great. I'm totally off crutches and walking well. I'm not ready for an all day shopping celebration but close. My knee pain was femoralpatellar dysfunction...basically my CPM machine was making my patella roll all over the place, cure: stop CPM machine. Hooray!! Now I have minimal hip pain and a deep quadracep muscle ache daily...hard to kick, probably referred hip pain since my hip is relatively pain free...which is rare.

I'm keeping busy sorting through my stuff, trying to chunk what I don't need for the move. Some days I chunk everything, other days I'm the Ebner pack-rat. Mom and dad are helping out with the move after graduation. I'm trying to figure out graduation plans...Billy thinks we should get a limo...it is a special occasion afterall!!! Then after the move, we head over to Shelby for a family reunion I'm organizing...a little bit of work to keep my days from watching endless amounts of tv. Then Myrtle Beach with the Ebner gang...can't wait. Finally I start Residency. My brain has gone to mush since no stimulation so today I checked out some medical books from the library. Most won't bother, but I do feel like I'm losing my mind recovering.

Home Sweet Home Spartanburg

We drove up to Spartanburg again but finally found what we are looking for. A bit small for us but its so cute with lots of nice stuff. 3 bedroom house with loft on an acre lot with a pond/lake in the backyard. The loft will be Billy's and I's workplace so clutter will be covered. He is notorious for clutter and no doubt it will not be pretty since he'll be working for home. I joked that we won't live there long because not enough room for a baby...in like 2 years of course but I think about it.
Link for a virtual tour...we'll see if it works??
Walk-through Video

Relapse

So, I went to PT and got in BIG BIG trouble. I'm supposed to be on crutches 6-8 weeks and 7 days just isn't enough. Which could explain the SEVERE leg pain that I was having. Awh, bone pain is horrible. So I'm back on crutches and hating life but the pain has dramatically improved. I need to stick with crutches a minimum of a week then may-be consider going down to 1 crutch. I love PT because she stretches all my leg muscles and it feels soooo good. I'm not supposed to even lift or move my leg so thats why I love it so much.

Billy and I are still trying to find a place to live in Spartanburg. We found two more and much jump on them quickly, so I'm driving back up to Spartanburg this week by myself. It will be nice to have our housing all in place.

10 days Post Op

So, I'm unoffically off crutches. I hated them so I said screw it. I walk pretty good and I needed to use my leg muscles, I felt like they were shriveling up. Doctors make the worst patients for sure, I have broken practically all the rules. My nausea is finally gone. Some pain but probably because I'm walking around, so I'm limiting it. This weekend Billy and I went house hunting in Spartanburg...blah, all old ranch style houses. I like luxury and hard to find in our budget! Today I went out to lunch with a friend, its good to get out. I have no idea what I'm gonna do for a month until graduation...I can't work out yet so its hard to stay active. I've been going to school because I'll miss this place. I feel so productive in the library here, brings back old memories. So I'm just chillin until graduation...Hooray!!

Hip Pictures

Still doing well...pain increasing some especially at night. Persistent nausea that I'm tired of. Pictures of red inflammed hip, my suture holding the torn labrum together, my damn CPM machine (3 hrs/day), wrapped up at night (awful) and pre-op

My Hip Arthroscopy

We woke up real early and drove down to the hospital. I was really calm, my blood pressure was pretty low considering I was about to go under. The IV needle was for sure the worst part. I remember saying good-bye to Billy and being wheeled away. I was pretty vocal about asking for Verseed because I was getting nervous. A few hours later I woke up in recovery and the room was spinning. Apparently they gave me Demerol which I"m not a big fan of, I asked for no more. My leg had a HUGE patch on it and my feet were all wrapped up. I would post pics now but my camera is downstairs and I limit that walk. The rest of the day was fine, really I just took Tylenol. I can't believe that they shaved down my bone, sutured my tear and I have such little pain. Crutches suck for sure, I feel like I don't need them, but doctors orders. I also don't wear my TED hose either, but I do take the Lovenox twice a day. Little shot in my belly. The worst part is going pee, I can't sit up straight so its difficult to pee, but otherwise I feel great. Billy takes me outside everyday for a drive or to sit in the backyard. Tomorrow I start PT which will probably hurt but I can't imagine too much. I do have muscle spasms at night but not painful just an annoyance. So far I haven't experienced any pain like I had before surgery...So far this has been pretty easy and I'm happy just bored to death.

April 15. 2010

Today is Billy's Birthday. I picked up the kids from school so we could all go out to dinner together. The kids love the Hibachi grill and Billy and I get to eat healthy. While he was at work, I was busy trying to finish all the errands I would possibly need to run in the next month. I'm getting scared about my surgery and am so afraid of post op pain.

240 Hours with Maisy

While Karen was recovering from viral pharyngitis I got to hang out with my favorite niece, Maisy for ten straight days. We had so much fun together, we played at the park, lots of soakie, had lunch dates, took naps, cuddled in Poppa Jerry's bed with ALL her stuffed animals, went shopping, etc. She was an angel for me. We went and saw Auntie Jody who took us out for my favorite tacos at El Ranchito..yummy. So sorry mommy Karen was sick but I had a blast with Maisy!!

More Maisy Pics

Baby Brain

For some weird reason I have been thinking about when I'm going to have a baby. The thought has always lingered but its getting stronger. I feel absolutely in love with Billy and think we should have a big destination wedding in the next two years. He thinks he's too old to have a kid but he looks fabulous and he's not old (even though he'll be a year older this week). To test my desire to have a baby he has challenged me to hang out with Maisy while in California and see how long it takes before I go bonkers!! He knows how much work kids are and worries that I don't realize the toll it takes...especially with a career. In retrospect I only know a handful of women gynos with kids...and they are part time doctors and part time moms... I have the opportunity to continue with the FM program and work 9-4 if I want after Residency...maybe not as much money as a gyno but eventually that will be strictly regulated as well. How important is a family to me? I don't know.. I do know that I'll be baby free for at least another year especially with my upcoming surgery but that biological clock is ticking...tick tock.

Pre Op

I had my preop appointment which scared me to death. Signing the consent and the possiblility of "loss of limb or death"...um, how possible? I've counseled humdreds of patients on surgery and its still scary on this side of the chart. The pain continues to be a part of my daily life and I'm so looking forward to it disappearing. My two critical pre op questions, Are people happy they had it- is the recovery worth it? and What kind of music do you listen to in the OR? So I"m going to make my own surgery master mix...He was totally cool with it, my doctor is great. My longtime goal has been to learn how to work iTunes and my iPod so here is my chance. Lets get ready to rock out!!

The End of Rotations

Its officially over...I'm done with clinical rotations!! Just waiting for time to pass then I'll offically be a doctor once graduation occurs in May. I probably won't be in the OR for awhile...it makes me sad. Not sure if I can go a whole career without the therapy of scrub techs and rocking out to music. Its a whole culture that is a part of my life...plus its operating. Its hard to believe that these past four years have gone by so quickly. It's honestly flown by.

We are a Masterpiece

Going through the Scramble has really tested my faith. Today in church we were "praying" and "thankful that we don't have to plan tomorrow because God has it planned for us". Every brush stroke of his is part of his masterpiece. In a way I agree but also greatly disagree. I spent so much money on setting up my future and worked soo hard, then really in the end it got me no where. Is this the plan God has for me? My faith isn't that strong and I can't release my future to him quiet yet.

The Scramble

Basically this process sucked...I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. I found out that I was not alone, and my best friend went through the same thing. My heart dropped when I read the only OBGYN spots were at Yale and UCLA.. fat chance. Plan B I submitted my application to every preliminary-surgery spot and family medicine program. By the end of the day I had an offer from a FM program in Long Beach, California. I came home crying, I was devastated. The next morning I submitted my signed contract...a few hours later a miracle happened and I was offered another contract in South Carolina. Still no OBGYN, but in the South, where I realized I wanted to stay. Miraculously I got out of the LB contract and I'm heading to S. Carolina.

I experienced a lot of emotions this past week. I feel like a loser, like I let myself, friends, family and Billy down. I'm trying to stay positive but honestly the thought of a life without stepping foot into an operating room is devastating. My plan is to stick through it for a year and reapply again. I'm not ready to give up although I can't figure out why God is making this such a challenge for me.

"Sorry you did not match"

Today is the day that we got an email notifying us if we Matched a program on our rank list or would we have to participate in the scramble. Nobody knows until Thursday where they match but the email is to provide some kind of reassurance or provoke severe anxiety and prepare you for hell. Unfortunately for me, I got the "bad email" that said, "Sorry you did not match a program on your rank list" and so here I am preparing for the Scramble. Basically they release any unfilled programs (which is only 5 for OBGYN in the entire COUNTRY!!)and all of us who didn't match will be calling and faxing our application. Its dreadful and horrible and its not where I envisioned myself. In fact I feel like the past 6 months of the application process has been a waste..all that money traveling, etc has gotten me no where. I didn't go to med school to be a different kind of doctor, OBGYN is the only thing I want. I'm totally depressed. I'm really scared. My biggest fear is not being an OBGYN, my second fear is that Billy and I will be forced to separate. I'm trying to cheer up but i'm still grieving. The scramble starts tomorrow so I'll pull it together by then, but this totally, totally sucks!!

MSG Migraine

Saturday Billy and I went to the mall. After walking around we found ourselves STARVING...we both agreed upon chinese....me chicken and rice, him something similar but healthier of course. After all, I haven't really ever had "chinese". Not much later the worst headache of my life appeared. I can count a couple of horrible headaches in my life, but nothing that stopped me from working or getting my stuff done. In fact I've actually made fun of people who came to the ER for "severe headaches"- unless of course it was a stroke or something with abnormal imaging pathology. Anyways, Saturday night I practically begged Billy to take me to the ER, but he reminded me that I would just be pissed off with a $2000 bill for a pain med injection that would most likely make me vomit. Despite my head throbbing, tears rolling down my face, etc, I still found myself rational and overdosed on as much pain medication that I could tolerate w/o killing myself. In addition, several Benadryl later I woke up pain free. Wow, my new found sympathy for migraine sufferers...they do deserve a trip to the ER and if I'm on duty, give them everything I possibly can to help them!!

UroGyn

I'm two weeks into my urogyn rotation. The guys I'm working with are hilarious and very laid back. My Attending gives me topics to read which I can recite the following day but I'm still "practical urogyn retarded"...I'm working on it. I am proud that not all old lady vaginas looks the same. First degree prolapse now looks a little different than third degree. My Attendings are pioneers with surgical procedures so I'm totally up to date with trends. Additionally, I'm writing up a case study. All in hopes of a fellowship.
Match is next week so I'm getting a bit excited and scared. I'm mentally preparing for the scramble, just to be safe. I worry a little about Billy and I, but again I have to have faith. Tonight I'm signing the paperwork to sell the house. Billy and I have been busy fixing it up.

Femoroacetabular Impingement

Bored on a lunch break during my family medicine rotation last month, I read an article about hip pain. As I continued to read, I realized I was reading about myself. Starting my second year of medical school I started experiencing this incredible burning pain in my groin down my leg. Just think, constant indian burn than electricity shooting down with twitching. After the gyno route, my pelvic pain is resolved but that groin pain persisted. Every few months I saw the DO at school and he was dumb founded, did his adjustments and off I went. I basically decided that I was going to experience this pain for the rest of my life and life sucks!! Well, that changed as I continued to read about FAI. I scheduled a consult with Atlanta's premiere FAI orthropedic surgeon who confirmed on a Hip Arthrogram and MRI that I too suffer from FAI. Imaging revealed that I have a labral tear and my acetabulum is misplaced in my hip joint with bone rubbing on bone. The official diagnosis is labral tear with pincer impingement. I'm scheduled to undergo hip arthroscopy after rotations and will hopefully be off crutches in time for graduation. I'm really picky about my own doctors but I'm confident in this guy, if all the Atlanta professional athletes trust this guy, he takes the time to answer all my questions, then he's the man for me. I'm really looking forward to pain relief but not so much the recovery. Ugh.

Endometriosis

This is my final week with the endometriosis guru. I've really enjoyed this month (I always say that by week 4). This guy is crazy ridiculous who's high standards can drive anyone mad, but I'm secretly just like him. The OR staff told me that he lets me do more in the OR than most of his fellows that have been there 9 months (fellows are real doctors that have already completed 4 years of OBGYN residency). So I'm honored. Sure, I get fussed at a little, but I've got thick skin. I wish I kept a journal of all my doctors ridiculous sayings, but this months are memorable.

"Whoever is holding the uterine manipulator should have just stayed home in bed" (that was me of course!!)
"It takes a whole 4 freakin minutes to dock the DaVinci, I should have done this myself" (This is incredible world breaking time by the way with 5 nurses doing it)
"I've worked with you for 18 years and you act like today is the first day we've met"
"Who did this prep? Prep the cervix like an airplane- swoop and fly all around"
"Because this wasn't done properly I will deduct 1 hour pay from your paycheck"
"Don't be so rough with the ovary"- okay that one is real.
"I hate people with two hands that don't use them properly"
"I would flunk you as a fellow since you moved your head, the patient could have died"
"I must announce that I couldn't do this surgery w/o Charlotte"- yeah, he's been doing it for 30 years just fine, me moving the bowel is really no big deal.
"Your concentration is fierce, I like that"

Fractured Coccyx

Initially I thought no big deal, a broken butt, but its unbearable at times. It hurts to walk, to sit, and going #2! I'm back on Motrin around the clock and its ridiculous. I had xrays then looked up the treatment- the donut and pain pills. Seriously I'd rather be in pain then on a donut and look wierd. Wouldn't you think your doctor was wierd if they were sitting on a donut?

Valentines Day in Bend

Our first real day in Bend was snowmobiling and it was fun. Billy had a hard time keeping up with me, but he had a blast. Day two was supposed to be us getting a couple's massage, but Billy begged to go snowboarding. It didn't help that Alex told him it was "easy and no problem", then Billy said he didn't want to go alone. I didn't think my hip would make it, but he wanted to go so bad that I thought I would give it a try...it didn't go so well. It started off sleeting on the mountain. I could barely scoot myself onto the chair lift and ate snow getting off. After struggling to get up, I picked up speed and fell..fell hard but got back up. My second fall didn't go so well. I had quite a bit of speed and fell right on my butt, I felt a crunch in my butt and tears started to roll down. I fractured my coccyx. I took another ski lift down and popped some handy pain pills. The next day was full of relaxation and I finally bought a new camera! The flight home was uncomfortable between the hip and the butt, but we made it. Billy LOVED bend and now wants to save up for a jacuzzi...he's so ebner he doesn't even know it!!

Snow in Atlanta

So Friday it snowed in atlanta and it was a HUGE ordeal. My commute is normally 25 miles and at 5am and 7 pm everyday it takes me 25 minutes w/ no traffic. Well, I got off "early" on that friday and it took me almost 3 freakin hours to drive home...people went bonkers with the snow. most doctors offices closed because of the "blizzard"...aka 3 inches. the real drag was the airport cancelled over 2,000 flights and billy and i didn't make it out on saturday for our valentines trip...instead i got us out on sunday with a long drive to portland- which worked out b/c alex was there and we carpooled together. the day was long and my hip was electrifying (more on that soon).
so, we are in bend, pictures to be posted soon, and are having a BLAST. billy says i plan the best get-a-ways!! Yesterday was snow mobiling and today is still undecided...he is still hibernating this morning.
update on the hip: i saw a orthopedic surgeon, am having a MRI w/ contrast in the joint later this week and will most likely have to have surgery....will know more next week at my appointment. i'm mentally preparing for 5 weeks of crutches!!

Day One of a VERY HARD MONTH

First off, I LOVED family medicine this past month in po-dunk georgia. They were awesome and once again I got their first honors pass. Despite what some think, apparently i do know what i'm talking about.

so this month i'm really excited to work with a famous doc, a pioneer in the endometriosis world. today was my first day, which was exhausting and was told, I'm gonna work harder this month than i've ever worked before" hard to swallow after a 16 hour "easy day"...i've got seniorititis...3 months until graduation!!

on a personal note, my hip pain is becoming unbearable again. i wake up every night dying.. i can't even sit in a chair for more than 20 mins without feelings of electricity shooting down my leg. randomly this month i read an article on hip impingment which had almost the exact same symptoms. i'm going to see a specialist next week who can hopefully rule this in or rule it out. residency is a few months away and i'd rather have one less thing to worry about.

Pictures from California

I finally downloaded pics from my recent trip to California. I found this old picture of me and my siblings. Award from geek to sheek goes to Grody Jody.... the rest of us still have a ways to go!!

Interview in California, Jan 2010

This month I'm on another rural family med rotation. I actually really like it, it does help tremedously that I work with some great people. While I thought I was rusty diagnosising strep throat, bronchitis, the flu, etc, it all came back within a day. I've even had the opportunity to teach my attendings a thing or two...

So last week I took a few extra days and flew out to California for my last interview. With the additional time I hung out with Miles and Maisy- what fun kids. I loved every second of it!! Maisy and I would cuddle together while Miles and I would rock out to Guitar Hero! Jody even drove up for a fun day together.

On the home front, I finally made the decision to stick with the allopathic match. I've officially withdrawn from the other. Billy and I have discussed future plans and are on the same page. Things have been so great and we don't want to break up because of residency location. Yesterday he told me that he got the ok from work to move with me and keep his job! Move within reason, not across country but they are being flexible. So for now, I'm sticking with the South, not only because of him, but I'm happy out here (a little help from Re-lax-apro), and ironically the insurance industry hasn't screwed up the South and medically I'll be on the cutting edge of things (None of the California programs have the DaVinci robot!!) So, its still up in God's hands and I won't know until March. The countdown continues!

Happy New Year 2010

Wow, just writing 2010 is so exciting for me because this is the year that I graduate!!

Billy and I stayed home to welcome in the New Year (he was on call). We went out to a Japanese dinner as we have traditionally done for the past four years. More tradition was followed by spending the day watching football. I spent this past week off rotations reading books. I have read 4 novels in the past 2 weeks and love it. No studying what-so-ever. I haven't been a complete bum, Billy has been organizing our new year fitness kick off. I've been back in the gym and today walked with a little joggng for 2 miles.

Its really cold out here in Atlanta. The day reaches a high of 35 and gets as low as 15! We're expecting snow this week. Its really cold for a California girl. To warm up, I'm filling up on hot chocolate and homemade chili for dinner.