Is Medical School Stressful?

Now, I know its seems to the average person that of course students would experience stress in medical school, but its really off and on. I don't mean to complain about it, but its pretty miserable right now and I don't want to forget this experience. Previously I mentioned that I'm going through the residency application process...still awaiting interviews. It seems my mind is constantly racing and being consumed by these thoughts. At night, I find myself crying about the future. I called a classmate and inquired if I was the only one stressed about this process...Good thing is that I'm not alone....it was suggested that I get on medication because most of my classmates are on either an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety med. I thought, am I depressed? No. Do I have anxiety? Awh, yeah, but just regarding two things, Where will I end up? Will Billy and I stay together? Its so stupid but so stressful. Basically I have no control over the situation. It gets worse...I won't know for at least another 6 months! Can I make it that long, should I consider medicine? For now, I'll just ride through the ups and downs but its not fun at all...good news is each episode lasts just a few days and only occur every few weeks. Talking to classmates is a little helpful, but we're all worried what we think of each other...Its taboo to show weakness. Talking to people outside of this process isn't really helpful...They think that of course I'll get what I want, I have so far academically right? All my confidence is gone...doesn't matter that I have the best letters of recommendation or my grades and boards are great...I've become a bit paranoid when comparing myself to my classmates...again, academically I outshine the others who want OBGYN but maybe the residents or directors "liked" them better, maybe they did something i didn't? who knows, but i guess i'll know in 6 months....until then i anticipate many more tearful nights and doubt running through my mind.

Residency Applications

For the past three years I've anticipated this point in my career and have prepared myself for my Residency Application...The time is now here and I'm so confused. There are two different "matching programs" that I can sign up for...One before the other, and for whichever one I choose, I must forfeit the other. Then, the added pressure of which coast do I want to live on? Will Billy go with me? If not, then I want to be far, far away from the South. We talk about it, but I think he sorta wants to know where I'll be before he commits...If I match in Michigan then he's most likely gonna let me go alone...i don't really blame him. Plus, we want the kids, but will their momma let us have them? Could Billy and I balance work, each other and the kiddies full time? I'm pretty confused and no doubt internally stressed about it....(the most likely culprit for not being able to loose weight). My osteopathic application has been sent and I'm awaiting interviews. Next month starts the allopathic process in which my application will be forwarded. I'm thankful that I know I want OBGYN and have a strong CV to support my passion...Some of my friends are still trying to figure out what they are going to specialize in. Some say, "let fate determine" but it's not that easy....i believe you have to create the opportunity and nurish it...I don't want to settle when it comes to my training....Not only do i want to become an OBGYN but I want to become a fabulous obgyn!

Diet & Exercise

This is the topic of most office visits I have with patients at an underserved family medicine clinic this month. Typically their cholesterol is high, they have high blood pressure and diabetes. I ask for a 24 hour diet diary and they usually tell me about mounds of pasta, chocolate cake, soda throughout the day, followed by fried chicken for dinner. Then when asked about exercise, they stare blankly at me. Its almost predictable, so I up their medicines and they'll live another year.
Now, while I don't go to the doctor, I'm well aware of the fact that I could lose a few extra pounds I've put back on in the past two years. (I loved my weight during the first 2 years of med school but I wouldn't trade back for those awful academic times). Some months I'm better than others- for example in So. Carolina I got free Chik-Fil-A anytime I wanted...but most months I bring my Smart Ones to work and eat my healthy lunch. Additionally I've been working out 5 x/ week in the gym and one "outdoor exercise" day/ week. I feel like I'm getting no where....its frustrating....the good news is I have no meds to increase but I don't want to get to that point. Its not fair in my opinion...Billy keeps me motivated and I'll keep pushing myself...if not for weight than for cardiovascular health.