Live as If You Were Dying

For starters, SM lost a very beautiful soul...her death was pretty tradgic and my best bud reminded me to live life now because we might not have tomorrow. This theme was carried on in this week's sermon at church. The preacher reminded me that tomorrow is not guaranteed. I can plan and plan my life away but I really have no choice in the matter if I'm granted another day. We actually live dependently...so as independent as I feel its not my life to live. With last week's tradgic accident, this week's sermon, a month of geriatrics and a few Law & Order reruns, its no doubt that death is on my mind. I woke up this am in a sweat that I was shot at my old high school...I thought what a random dream, but really it reflects everything that has been on my mind this week. So in living life, I still have plenty of things to do (residency, marriage, pregnancy, etc) but I'm happy with what I've accomplished so far.

Who knew I was the next Dr. Kervorkian?

For starters, I have been dreading my mandatory geriatrics rotation....i envisioned a month of breathing in urine soaked sheets and listening to old farts talking about their grandchildren...Not so. Sure I'm spending each day at nursing homes but it isn't so bad. Most of my patients are demented- so they either don't talk or its crazy talk. I've found myself listening to the same Christmas Carol song over and over while writing chart notes and orders b/c an old lady will go crazy if you change it...crazy = meds so let them be crazy if its harmless to avoid sedating them. I've found my favorite old man boyfriend...yep, he's missing toes and teeth but he thinks i'm smart and pretty! I do hate the fact that many of these demented patients just lay there in bed without talking or walking (cuz if that was the case they'd be "walkie-talkies"- quite a complement)...these families insist that EVERYTHING be done for them...ie feeding tubes, blood transfusions, cholesterol medicine and measures to prevent another stroke when they can't move their body...they lay there for years...its not right, but you can't just kill them...sure i'm not suggesting you murder them but what about letting nature take its natural course- don't reinsert another feeding tube, just provide comfort medicines, etc. Really it drives me mad...so if you want everything done to prolong your life for another decade in a vegetative state, don't ask me to be your power of attorney..i won't slip you potassium like dr k but i'll make sure you have just the right amount of morphine.

Background

So its been years and i have been repeatedly trying to change my background....the most progress i made was making the entire blog white....now you can see the font so i'm getting somewhere...still so far to go....actually if you look hard you will see a halloween theme on that last 1 cm margin on the sides.....now that i have wireless internet at home again, i'll fiddle around some more and post something exciting soon. highlights to come: geriatrics rotations-hilarious, concert-kings of leon, atlanta fall weather-cooling off, more attempts at getting healthy- i'm choking down more fruits & veggies, and i hate interview outfit shopping-its a chore.......