Practicing Intern

Well to expose myself to other residents I have been picking up extra call on L&D. So after working a full day in clinic, I spend the next 15 hours on L&D. Its exhausting no doubt but I am seeing what this program has to offer. While this program is rich in high risk I am also being exposed to the intensity of the resident working enviornment. For the past two calls, I have witnessed 3 residents cry. Yes, grown women doctors run off to cry, pull themselves back together and get back to work. I'm starting to think this is typical behavior...which scares me. I don't want to cry...why are they crying? Lots of factors; the hours are horrific, the work load is intense, upperlevels are demanding, you miss your family, you've been asked to do something you've never done before, you're starving to death and the cafeteria is closed, and finally you have a patient hemorrhaging that you're not sure what to do with. July is notoriously the worst month because you are still gaining your bearings at a new hospital, but its not something I'm really looking forward to. While yes, I can't wait to graduate but along with that is serious responsibility. Initially I reflect that if all the residents are crying then this is not the program for me, but I ponder a bit more and realize that they will most likely be much better physicians because of the intensity and exposure. Do you really want a doctor who went to an "easy" residency and then can't handle the complications in the real world? So theoretically one should interpret the crying as a better program with more experienced future doctors.